No, you're a phone

Fixed-line customers who neglect to go ex-directory are often only subjected to unwelcome telesales callers while they are out at work.

Very rarely, however, the planets align, and a call from a particularly abrasive salesman comes along on a Saturday night, when you and your friends are sat in the lounge having enjoyed a few aperitifs, also known as 'tinnies'.

In this case, an unfortunate chap phoned my house asking to speak to someone who doesn't live at my address about a great offer for something called 'Europhone'.

Naturally the handset was passed around the room a couple of times, with everyone adding their personal touch to the ensuing ruse, until things suddenly came to a head; a reconstruction follows below:

(Sounding quite exasperated by now) "Hello, I'm calling with an offer from Europhone."
"No, you're a phone!"
"F**k you!" (hangs up).

Apologies for the wind-up Mr. Europhone man, we promise we'll be nicer next time!